Big Fat Phallusy

"

I ended up yelling at Husband in the car the other night about this, with regards to birth control. Husband said, “You can’t expect him to be controversial in the middle of an election.” I said, in all caps:

NINETY-EIGHT PERCENT OF WOMEN IN THIS COUNTRY HAVE USED BIRTH CONTROL.

THAT’S FIFTY PERCENT OF THE VOTING BLOCK.

MOST OF THOSE WOMEN USED BIRTH CONTROL WITH AN APPROVING PARTNER.

SO THAT’S ANOTHER, WHAT, THIRTY PERCENT?

EIGHTY PERCENT — EIGHT-ZERO PERCENT — OF AMERICANS APPROVE OF BIRTH CONTROL.

IF HE CAN’T COME OUT IN SUPPORT OF THAT, HE CAN’T COME OUT IN SUPPORT OF **PUPPIES**.

BIRTH CONTROL IS LITERALLY MORE SUPPORTED IN AMERICA THAN PUPPIES.

Husband blinked a few times and said he hadn’t thought of it that way before. I just wish someone would transmit that message to my president.

"

"What’s wrong with 5 guys up there talking about women’s reproduction? I mean we’re the ones who have the responsibility of telling the lady that it’s her responsibility."